Day 4 #AllotmentFashionWeek 2018!
After the early start to the week’s allotment fashion tips, with the ladies telling us that coloured nail varnish and patterned clothes help obscure mud, we meet Joe. Joe wears a white shirt to deliberately make himself look muddier and hard working – isn’t that so typical of us blokes “Yeah it’s mud get over it! I could be in the marines crawling through an assault course” But he’s no show-off, even on a hot day that t-shirt is not coming off, but he might let you see his legs. (Is it me or is this intro starting to sound like a quick reminder from ‘our Graham’ on Blind Date in 1992?)
We also have some tips from George at Asda, sorry I mean Paul at Sainsbury’s – that’s where he gets his plain t-shirts from. Secretive Sean has also put in an appearance, just a brief one, he’s keeping his allotment fashion tips firmly under his hat.
Blogger & Instagrammer
Blog: Grow With Joe
Joe is a man with a plan, he gives careful consideration to his allotment outfits:
“Most of the year, you will see me on my allotment sporting a very similar outfit…..Hunter wellies, the same pair of jeans with a rip in the knee, (which is very annoying as soil always falls through the hole, down my trouser leg & into my left boot!), and a black or white t-shirt. The white t-shirt makes it look like I’ve been working extremely hard because it shows up the dirt a lot more but then black is supposed to be more slimming so it’s always a tough choice of which one to wear!”
Much like a well-known American fast food chain, Joe has a very strict rule that ‘tops must be worn’ on his plot, and it’s an allotment rule I happen to agree with!
“Let’s face it, no one wants to see me with my top off & neither should they be subjected to it! So, when it’s really hot, I treat myself by rolling the sleeves of my t-shirt up, much like a T-Bird in the 50’s which also helps avoid the rather fetching look of very tanned, sun kissed, brown forearms & milk bottle white shoulders.”
He goes on…
“If you leave your visit to our allotment site until very late in the evening in summer, you may just find me watering in flip flops & on one occasion this year, you would’ve been treated to seeing me, fresh from the beach, watering in my wellies and swimming shorts (not Speedos I might just add!).”
“As the temperature plummets, so does my sex appeal because this is when I break out the big guns….my motorbike neck warmer, old man long johns, fleece coat and matching fleece dungarees which I think you’ll agree is quite a sight to behold.”
Finally Joe has realised why his neighbours aren’t very neighbourly:
“I always thought that the reason that I’ve had so many tenants come and go on the neighbouring plots to mine was because it was too much hard work for them, but now I’m documenting my allotment clothing, I am suddenly struck with the feeling it could be something else entirely…”
Blog: The Green Fingered Blog
Reduce, reuse and recycle is the mantra of the Green Fingered Blogger. Paul is determined to show that gardening can be both economical and environmentally friendly. His brassicas are protected by a net held up by pieces of an old bed and a snooker table. His carrot seedlings are protected from pigeons using a broken sofa bed. He hates throwing anything away, and this applies as much to the contents of his wardrobe as anything else.
“My gardening trousers are the 501s that are just a bit too worn out to look respectable in most other situations. I’m proud of the fact that my waist hasn’t increased in size in at least ten years, meaning my oldest jeans are fit for the garden”
… provided the only hole in them is the one that turns his back pocket into a holster for his secateurs, which worries me a little, I hope he’s careful where and when he sits down!
Now in his mid 40s (in years not waist size!) Paul finds a cap essential:
“I like to avoid sunburn on that delicate part of my scalp that is less well covered than it used to be.”
Paul’s caps also show signs of the wear they’ve had in their previous life. No longer smart enough for the golf course, they get a second life on the allotment.
Paul’s t-shirts are newer, but being naturally averse to brand names, they are plain colour supermarket own brand shirts, though Paul draws the line at George at Asda, and buys from Sainsbury’s instead.
Paul’s allotment footwear is simply the pair of boots that are now too old for anything else. This does mean they are no longer waterproof
“My allotment is only a 2 minute walk from my garden gate, so getting wet feet is not a big concern”.
Blogger & YouTuber: Sean James Cameron
Sean is a man who likes to keep his gardening wardrobe a closely guarded secret.
From his popular horticultural YouTube videos we know Sean is huge a fan of the jumper and fleece combo (see right) – apparently this look is a real hit with the train drivers who give him the odd toot of approval. What a relief that he doesn’t wear his swimming trunks like Joe (above), otherwise I think the British Transport police might get involved.